A Sad Passing but a Joyful Life – Mitch Carnell

Claude Mitchell “Mitch” Carnell, Jr., Ph.D., 88, of Charleston, South Carolina, entered into eternal rest on Monday, January 30, 2023. His Funeral Service will be held Saturday, February 4, 2023, at the First Baptist Church, 61 Church Street, Charleston, SC 29401 at 12:00 pm. Burial will follow in Live Oak Memorial Gardens, weather permitting. The family will receive friends on Friday, February 3, 2023, in the J. Henry Stuhr, Inc. West Ashley Chapel, 3360 Glenn McConnell Pkwy, Charleston, SC 29414 from 5:00 pm until 7:00 pm.Mitch at Sunset - Dad

Mitch was born April 27, 1934, in Woodruff, South Carolina, the son of the late Claude Mitchell Carnell, Sr. and Edith Ila Gossett Carnell. He is survived by his daughter, Elizabeth Suzanne Smith of Murfreesboro, TN; son, Claude Michael Carnell of Charleston, SC (Nancy); grandchildren, Christopher Smith (Raven), Christina Carnell, and Colin Carnell; sister, Jean Wallace (Bunky); as well as many nieces and nephews. In addition to his parents, Mitch was preceded in death by his first wife and mother of his children, Elizabeth Jean Frei Carnell; and later by his wife, Carol Spurlock Carnell.

He earned his associate degree from Mars Hill College, bachelor’s degree from Furman University, Masters’s from the University of Alabama, Doctorate from Louisiana State University, and an honorary doctorate from Lander University. Over the years he also taught for Webster University, The Citadel, Charleston Southern, College of Charleston, MUSC, Trident Technical College, and many other institutions both large and small.

Mitch was the Director, President, and CEO of Charleston Speech & Hearing Center for well over 30 years. He was a Fellow of the American Speech Language and Hearing Association, a member with honors of the South Carolina Speech Language and Hearing Association, and a member of many other professional organizations. His career was spent in the service of others and is sprinkled with innumerable awards, citations, and board memberships.  In 1998 he received The Order of the Palmetto from the state of South Carolina.

Mitch is the author of “Say Something Nice, Be a Lifter!“, “Speaking in Church Made Simple: A Step-By-Step Guide“, “Development, Management, and Evaluation of Community Speech and Hearing Centers“, and the editor of “Christian Civility in an Uncivil World“. In the past, he had been a regular columnist for the Charleston Post & Courier. He also authored a wealth of articles in both professional journals and general interest publications. Mitch Carnell looking ahead, looking over the railing

In 2006, Mitch’s work in communication and good works was officially recognized when the mayor of North Charleston, South Carolina proclaimed June 1 as “Say Something Nice Day” in recognition of Mitch’s communication efforts. Since that time many other municipalities, businesses, religious organizations, and community groups have come to recognize Say Something Day across the country.

He was a long-time member of the First Baptist Church of Charleston where he had served as a deacon, Sunday school teacher, and leader or member on many committees. In 1992 he organized and served as chair of the John A. Hamrick Lectureship in Baptist history. This series was held annually in Charleston for many years.

In his more personal life, he loved spending time with his family and friends, especially over a good meal. He also was an avid traveler and had visited all fifty states at least once and many more than once. He also traveled extensively overseas even going so far as New Zealand, Australia, Europe, and Russia. These were trips he took with his family and friends so that he could share the experience. He glowed in joy at the success of his grandchildren Christopher, Christina, and Colin. There was no greater joy to him than the happiness of “the kids.”  He also reveled in spending time with the extended family of neices, nephews, cousins, spouses, friends, and the occasional pest. All who knew Mitch will deeply miss him.

Memorial donations can be made in Mitch’s honor to the Alzheimer’s Association, the Music Fund of the First Baptist Church of Charleston, or the SC Speech and Hearing Foundation, P.O. Box 1763, Columbia, SC 29202.

A memorial message may be sent to the family by visiting our website at www.jhenrystuhr.com

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10 Metaphors for Body and Soul – Candice Kumai

American lifestyle coach Candice Kumai, who has Japanese heritage, also links kintsugi to body and spirit. Her book, Kintsugi Wellness: The Japanese Art of Nourishing Mind, Body and Spirit, shares 10 metaphors to consider for the new year:

Admire imperfection,

Live with great resilience,

Nourish your body,

Learn to take care,

Always do your best,

Continuously improve,

Accept what cannot be helped, c

Care for your inner circle,

Cultivate sincere gratitude,

Be of service to others,

Welcoming gifts.

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The Difference Between Being Polite vs. Civil – Marguerite House*

“Civility is an ancient virtue of civilized society. It is not simply about manners or moral judgments. Rather, it is about respectful engagement with a sense of fair play, which is especially important when differences are most strenuous.”

And so formed the basis of James Leach’s 50-state “civility tour” in 2010. At the time, Leach was chairman of the National Endowment for the Humanities and was visiting several locations in Park County. I was curious about Leach’s emphasis on “Civility in a Fractured Society,” so I joined the audience at the end of the day to hear his lecture.

I admit that I couldn’t help thinking about Walt Disney’s famous bunny, Thumper, who said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all,” or my mom who basically said the same thing. Clearly, civility isn’t necessarily about being “nice,” as Leach pointed out. Indeed, humans can be incredibly polite while being horribly uncivil. What I think Thumper and Mom really meant was, “If you can’t say something positive”— or helpful or enlightening or beneficial — “just don’t say anything.”

Sadly, it doesn’t appear that much has changed in the last 12-plus years — or in the multitude of past generations for that matter. The question for us is, “Why all this agitation and angst?”

First, I believe that folks on all sides of an issue misjudge the conviction with which others hold certain positions. They may not realize how a concern reaches the depths of soul and belief of an individual — deep-seated tenets ingrained through upbringing, education and personal reflection. People’s religious beliefs, environmental concerns or other convictions could no sooner be given up than to change their ethnicity or race.

And then there’s personal experience.

“In an age characterized by change and its acceleration, by caffeinic mesmerism with Blackberries and texting, the collective of history is taking backstage to the fleeting novelty of individual experiences,” Leach told graduates at Miami Dade College in May 2010. “Yesterday can seem like yesteryear, a distant memory, an era before.”

Leach’s statement speaks to another aspect of the heated nature of so much of today’s discourse: One’s own experiences have an immense effect on his stand on a given subject. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; when individuals are privy to another’s experiences, they might just gain perspective.

For instance, factor in a mother’s grief at the loss of a child to a drunken driver, and her rage at free-flowing alcohol in our society is understandable. A senior citizen struggling with the rising cost of, well, everything is panic-stricken at the mere mention of a tax increase and launches a tirade at Congress. A father who lost his job lashes out at the “environmentally conscious watchdogs” that shut down the factory where he worked.

Issues take on a whole new viewpoint from someone else’s shoes: They’re personal. When another shares an experience, it gives me a new appreciation for the complexity of a particular outlook. Civility means searching for that perspective to better understand an issue.

Finally, I like what President John F. Kenney said on the matter: “So let us begin anew — remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof.”

*Marguerite House is a freelance writer and a columnist for the Cody, Wyoming Enterprise.

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Words Are Powerful – Toby Moore*

Words are powerful. I suspect we still don’t know the true power of words. At a basic level, we know our words can build someone up or tear them down; we all know that words have consequences.

While giving someone a kind word is always polite, bad-mouthing someone can have severe ramifications, even when said behind their back. Disrespectful comments can destroy relationships. In today’s world — this can happen even when you’re alone, where you think nobody can hear you.

It reminds me of the old saying we’ve all heard: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” It’s simple but relevant advice, especially in the digital age.

While most of us are aware of the effects of social media, sadly, we are just beginning to understand that we are being watched and listened to. Many of our devices are listening to us, and most of us tend not to care because what’s the worst that can happen? Will Alexa, Siri or Cortana rat me out to my friends if I say something terrible about them? Probably not.

There are cameras everywhere, too. They are in places you’d never expect them to be, sometimes hidden in our homes. While this is a clear violation of privacy, if someone were to hear the confidential words you spoke to yourself or your spouse, it could destroy everything.

I know of a family that faithfully comes together every year for Christmas. They cook, eat, exchange gifts and openly express their love for one another; they’ve done this for decades.

This year things were different. Half the family decided not to show up. When asked why, they said they didn’t have the time this year and tried to downplay their absence.

After much back and forth, somebody revealed the truth.

During Christmas 2021, amidst the annual holiday party, some family members spoke very negatively about other family members in the privacy of their bedrooms. At first, they denied ever saying anything wrong, but eventually, they discovered that it was pointless to lie about it; it was all recorded on camera.

One of the younger teenagers was given cameras as a gift and secretly placed them all over the house; everything was recorded. Both sides were devastated.

Although they loved each other, they still had many negative things to say. Every recorded word was analyzed and studied by the offended party. It’s too early to tell if they will find forgiveness.

Is it OK to speak negatively of others? Sure. Will it make you feel better to vent? Only temporarily.

Speaking our minds and venting our frustrations is only natural. We’ve all done it.

I know a girl who is a director at an advertising agency. She tells me she’s exhausted and tired of work. She can’t do it anymore. I asked her why and she said her primary co-worker is constantly complaining and speaking poorly of other co-workers; it’s sapped her of all her positive energy. Her enthusiasm is gone.

Have you ever felt drained and unhappy after complaining or listening to someone complain?

Many of us feel that it’s good to vent and that we must let it out. Sometimes that works. We express ourselves and never speak of it again. We are usually just fanning the flames and making it worse, increasing our anger and resentment.

Every thought, word and action produces a blend of chemical peptides in our brains. These peptides cause us to have feelings. When thinking and speaking negative things about yourself and others, chemical peptides are released into your body that make you feel bad. Simply listening to someone’s negativity can have the same effect.

Your words have great power. Develop the habit of speaking positively about yourself and others. Let this article remind you that if you can’t think of anything positive to say, maybe you shouldn’t say anything at all.

*Toby Moore is a columnist, star of the Emmy-nominated film “A Separate Peace,” and CEO of CubeStream Inc. He resides in Bourbonnais and can be reached through the Daily Journal at editors@daily-journal.com.

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